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Be Careful What You Wish Fo’
My wife and I had narrowly escaped the house with the Twins intact. We’d fed and bathed them in a hurry so we could make it on time to Thanksgiving 2: This Time, It’s Leftovers at my wife’s mother’s...
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Don’t Call Me Mr. Mom
Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless: So are you still being Mr. Mom? Me: You know, the term “Dad” works just fine. Sure, I could have just let it go. I could have replied, “Yes, I am still being Mr....
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Adventures in Baby-Proofing: Part 1 – There Will Be Blood
I wanted to finish baby-proofing our house earlier. I really did. But it’s the thought that counts. I had the best intentions when I began work in October, and have slowly made what I believe to be...
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Did It
My son has created a catch phrase that very well could sweep the nation. You may not have heard it yet because it is currently being swept under the nation’s rug, but once this news hits the interweb,...
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The Top 10 Most Unglamorous Tips for Potty Training Twins
I’ll admit it–my wife and I have been putting off potty training. It’s not that we’re against the idea–we’re pretty psyched about not having to spend literally $100 a month on Costco-sized diapers for...
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House Potty
Potty training is in full force at Fort Pseudonymous, opening up the entire dwelling to excretory crossfire. We’ve had good days and we’ve had bad days, but the bad days are way more eventful, and thus...
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Poop on the Wall
“Okay,” my wife proclaimed, performing a one-woman evacuation of my son’s bedroom. “I’m not going to freak out, but there’s poop on the wall.” I was proud of her–assuming, of course, that there was, in...
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Let’s Get Sh!tfaced, Part Deux Deux
There’s no gentle way to say this–I can smell the difference between my son and daughter’s fecal matter. I could describe their distinct aromas for you in gag-reflex-inducing detail, but have chosen...
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Not So Fast
“Stupid rental car,” my wife growled. “Huh?” I bumbled, snapping out of an exhausted daze. “I thought we liked the rental car.” Having ventured to Maui with my parents, we’d rented a minivan that would...
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A Bedtime Story
My daughter hooked her arm securely around mine as I held her at my hip–a cripplingly cute mannerism of hers that melts me to my core every single time. Vocalizing airplane sound effects, I made an...
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